


Cuddlestuck

by AFarAwayOne



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, Hypnotism, M/M, More ships in the future, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-22 01:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFarAwayOne/pseuds/AFarAwayOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert and Rose Lalonde are about to move to the island nation of Alternia to unite with their internet friends, Dave, Jade and a group of Alternians who used to troll them.<br/>But before heading for the island, Mom and Dad, now a newlywed couple, come up with a less than nice plan to make their children be more social at their new home. A Hypnotic spell making it impossible to sleep, unless you're snuggling with somebody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: John

Most hypnotism encourages the subject into a state of sleeping before they're put under the spell. But not this hypnotism.  
The Egbert-Lalonde parents were cunning and intrusive when it comes to acclimating their children into their new life in another country. Both John and Rose, who live in opposite sides of the continent, never had a problem leaving the United States behind and heading to a completely foreign culture on some remote island nation, and that was the problem, thought the newlywed couple.  
It was clear from their long chatting over the phone and on the internet that on the island of Alternia they will meet their friends face to face for the first time. Their Texan friend Dave and the strange girl Jade, who was homeschooled on a deserted island, as well as some of the local kids, including members of the Alternian royal family, were the real friends of the grimdorks.  
But one doubt was still lingering in the mind of the concerned parents, when they checked out their children's friends. It turns out their Alternian internet buddies, despite living on the same island together, have rarely met each other in person. A pressing concern to be sure. A measure had to be taken in order to make sure John and Rose were having the proper interpersonal interactions, not just online.  
Thus father Egbert and mother Lalonde turned to old books of Dubious Pranks and Fake Wizardry and devised the Interpersonal Necessity Sleeping Hypnosis.

John was the easiest one, he wasn't even aware the procedure is being taken on him until it was too late and he was hypnotized, ironically enough, in his sleep. His last normal sleep.  
The night afterwards he couldn't sleep, meaning the hypnosis worked. The stars seemed heavy and the clock ticked slow on his first insomniac night. He didn't know yet, but the hypnosis wouldn't let him fall to sleep unless under specific conditions.  
He got up and tiredly walked his way to his computer. He was not surprised to know the insomnia robbed him of sleep, but not of sleepiness, he almost dozed off as his computer lit up, but not quite to fall asleep. "Mnah!" he grunted to himself as the ding of his OS "woke" him up from almost-sleep.  
A few clicks made tiredly slow, and Pesterchum was open. Dave and Jade were online, so was Rose, but for some reason her account was locked. Probably her mom didn't like something she did with her computer. He pondered which friend he should bother at this late night period, and then he remembered Alternia was a completely different time zone, he didn't know exactly what time it was on Alternia, but he guessed it couldn't be too late for talking like in the western coast.  
He decided to pester Dave, if it really was late on Alternia, he didn't want to wake Jade up, and she really did care for her dream. He activated the voice chat option and made the call, putting on his headset to not wake his dad with their conversation.  
"You've reached the world's best shore in the pre apocalypse area." Answered a deep yet childish familiar voice. John was jump-started by Dave's sudden greeting.  
He got over himself quick, "Why pre apocalypse and not ever?" John asked way too late.  
"Cuz post-apocalyptic earth us rebels to nature and the dead society will have all the shore took by the man over 100,000 years of human existence. And though they'll old and dirty like society's jizz-sock, filled with buildings, the fact we claimed it will make it the best shore of all times. Later though we'll spend a few months clearing radiation from fluffy new tails."  
"So worth it." John answered "I guess."  
"Yeah" Dave said and John could hear him stretch "but until then I have this glorious masterpiece of sand and water put randomly against a monarchy of horned weirdos."  
"It's not nice to call your host country weirdos, Dave!"  
"Yeah, I know. I just like making fun of them cause I feel alienated by what appear to be their superior culture."  
"Superior, huh?"  
"Yeah, who do you think caused the apocalypse of beach claiming? The atom bombs of wrinkly politicians? Nah man, it will probably be their psycho sea queen."  
"Yeah, I heard you're friend with her daughter. She's part of Karkat's gang or something absurd like that?"  
"Yeah, but she is on the other side of the fucking island, in the Girls' Academy." Dave said, John heard a faint male voice in the background, a snotty one with a wavy accent. "I am here with the dudes in the Alternian Oval Meat-Tube-fest."  
"There's one royal prick in the ass though, something like her cousin from a 32nd degree or some shit." John heard the wavy voice again. "Yeah, he's like 1,000,000,612nd to the throne." Dave confirmed.  
"Anyway Egbert." Dave said "Why are you up so late?"  
"How do you know it's late in here?"  
"Dude, seriously? I've been in here for like 5 days and we've talked dozens of times since then. I know the time difference by heart. I did it back home too. It's very ironic that the first thing I'm making sure to know in this brave new land is what the sun is like in my old land."  
"Yeah, I never really concerned myself with time-zones very much." John chuckled. "I just knew you were some time ahead and Rose a little more ahead, and Jade is you know… asleep when she needs to be, and awake when isn't."  
"What about the Trolls?"  
"The Alternians always called to me, trying to troll me, and even when we became friends Vriska was always the one calling me. And whenever I called her it was always an inconvenient time and somehow was messed up with the schedules of other Alternians I stopped following."  
"Yeah, I get that. It's a lot more synchronized when we're all on the same island, or better, in the same fucking place. Like our timelines out synchronized now or something."  
"But you're throwing us out of sync, Egbert. You're a broken metronome, an early clock. Go to sleep."  
"I can't."  
"Too excited, miss nervous?"  
"No, that's not it. I mean, I am excited for meeting you all there…"  
"I'd kill you if you weren't."  
"But there's another reason I can't sleep."  
"You know, I think Rose has said something about it, bubbling some crazy shit about hypnosis."  
"Yeah, she's weird like that."  
"She's weirder than the time you're awake in, now." Dave said, ready to hang up, "Go to sleep."  
"Hey Dave…"  
"Yeah?"  
"This may sound weird…"  
"There's no such thing on this coconuts-melting island."  
"Can we cuddle?"  
"Like, when you get here?" Dave paused, John could practically hear him blushing, he himself was too tired and too serious to blush. "I guess."  
"No, I mean right now."  
"Oh…" Dave said, and John could hear the blush fading away, "Dude, my arms aren't long enough."  
"But if my mine are? Like what if my arms would pop out at random places and just now they pop up right next to you. Would you cuddle me?"  
"Sorry dude, I'm the big spoon." And he hung up.


	2. Prologue II: Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night before her flight, and Rose is suspicious of her mother's intent, suspecting she might be trying to hypnotize her, to "correct" her bahaviour.  
> She will not be heaving that.

Rose was more difficult, she's always more difficult. When it comes to moving, the packing and the booking of the plane, every aspect was taken to absurd details, like she was going to infiltrate Alternia to take down the queen rather than just moving there to be with her friends. And like any infiltration mission, the biggest enemy is within. Rose has suspected her mother had intentions of achieving something in her trip. And she wasn't going to let down until Rose fell right into where she wanted.  
The first hint for said intention was when Rose was organizing her books in a tree formation according to author's name, when she heard a slow A-sharp ambience coming from the living room below. She squinted her eyes and brought out the sound sealing towel she bought and jammed it under the door. Mostly for privacy purposes and for the silence of book organizing. Besides, she didn't trust sounds, sounds were the source of manipulation used by the church of the old days. The catchy chants and mob mentality caught the believers and pointed the witches out. She wasn't going to fall for that, even if it nothing but her mom's attempt to be more musical for the sake of her new husband, who was about to move in there in Rose's absence.  
The time was dinner, the night before her flight, when Rose felt that whatever her mom was planning she was done with it. Both Lalondes knew this is going to be the hard part, getting Rose to swallow her medicine. Perhaps literally? Rose couldn't take the risk, she threw her dinner away and went up to her room, much to her mother's disapproval. She ate one of the many emergency dinners she held in her room, after microwaving them. But only for 30 seconds, that was the minimal time when the microwaves could go without the encrypted messages clearly put in the device.  
The blonde girl pulled out all her sound blockers and sealed the room entirely. She returned to her organizing with a frustrated grumble, followed by her stomach's grumble. Half-warm microwave dinners aren't very satiating, but it's worth it if she doesn't want her mother's malicious plan ruining her entire time on Alternia.  
Rose looked out of the window padded with foam at every possible direction. It was late evening and the sun has already sunk down beyond the horizon. The season was stormy and a heavy storm just past, leaving a broken sky full of cloud, bending the starlight into interesting and beautiful patterns. Rose wanted to be at the observatory and watch them lying down relaxed.  
But that wasn't an option, not when Mom Lalonde was going at it, the observatory was too dangerously easy to mess with. The circular chamber was a perfect hall for transmitting behavior changing inaudible sounds, her favorite velvet pillow may be laced with drugs or something. The telescope itself may be redesigned to twist the light into a hypnotic mirage. In fact, so can her window.  
One patch work later and the room was darkened entirely and Rose was safe, for now. There were still over 24 hours of trap setting awaiting, and the night was the perfect opportunity for her mom to strike.  
Rose took out her emergency inventory: emergency water and food even worse than microwave dinners. More importantly, a guide she pulled out of the internet on how to check if the computer and internet have been messed with. It's important to tell her friends of her friends of the predicament, but it's more important to stay non-hypnotized. She looked at the printed document carefully. She made sure not to touch the document, in case mom changed the chemicals in the ink months in advance, though it was improbable. The guide read of how to check for subconscious messages in the internet configuration. Rose's hand petted her new cat Vodka Mutiny while reading. She realized her mistake and the cat was out. After sanitizing her hand off hypnotic cat compacts she was ready.  
She opened the door a crack with caution, her mom was practicing violin on the second floor hallway. Of course, music have had effective subliminal messages ever since the 1910s that worked on adults, there's no reason why her genius mom couldn't do the same in the present that could work on the impressionable mind of a 16 years old. She needed to use ear-plugs. Her own were out question, she didn't check them often enough to keep her mom away from them. She didn't want to use mom's earplugs assuming the scheming adult wouldn't trap her own possessions.  
Rose walked down the hall quickly, putting her fingers in her ears. When she reached the hallway she quickly flattened to the wall, to avoid any hypnotic trinkets her mother may be wearing.  
"Hey sweetie, having problems sleeping?" her mother stopped the abominable music and asked.  
"Yes mom, I'm fine. It's not even close to my sleeping time." Rose replied and jumped quickly across the hallway to the next section of wall.  
"Okay, honey. If you do try cuddling with Vodka." Mom said and then giggled.  
"The cat, that is. Not the beverage." She kept giggling. "Though I do have some in the lab, if you want any when you're older."  
"Speaking of the lab. There's a problem with the internet, can I check what is it in the main computer?" Rose asked, talking really fast, given permission may mean she's ready to receive a dose of hypnotic mess once she enters said room.  
"You're better at it than me, so I guess it's okay. Maybe call your cousin Roxy, she may know."  
"I'm fine alone." She said, Roxy is probably on the scheme, she thought.  
Rose kicked the lab open with her protected foot once the horrible novice violin music proceeded. She held her breath until she saw the chemical detector on her plastic wizard change. 10 second with no change and she took a big breath. She proceeded to the computer on the counter next to the cache of alcohol after making more ridiculous but necessary tests.  
She did the first check-up, to see if mom trapped the check-up procedure. She didn't, so Rose continued with the test. The very detailed test. The test basically included searching for various key words and patterns in every main OS file in the machine. She opened the drive of said files and opened the first one. She looked at the long file and back and forth from a list of pattern she ought to look for. The second file she didn't need to return to her guide for all patterns. By the time an hour passed and she was on file 71, she knew all patterns by heart, and there were still 342 files to go. She sighed in frustration. And it's like all files were the same. Some files were only a few lines or ever no lines at all while others were walls of text. Some files were .gif or flash files, and some had music or even were interactive. Rose didn't really know how much through the search she was in. After finishing the fourth folder she found out the fifth had two folders inside, one the length of any other folder, and the other much longer. The sixth folder was even worse, even longer and split to more folders, some of which split to even more folders.  
By the time she was finished it was the middle of the night, there were more files and one more folder to be added in the next updates of the OS, but Rose didn't care to read them. She spent half the night in waking nervousness but it seems she is safe. Her room was fortified and locked (in a new personal lock from a far-away shop, obviously) and the net was safe, she could stay there in comfort until her flight (she'll pay for a cab, it's worth it).  
She was safe to talk to her friends and tell them.  
She took out her laptop and laid on the bed, it was comfy and inviting but for some reason she didn't feel like sleeping, despite being quite tired.  
She opened Pesterchum, the first thing that caught her eye was that John was blocked. She missed it! Too busy looking for messages meant for her she didn't notice how her cunning mother made sure to keep the salvation away from John. She knew her mom's pesky husband probably had the same concerns with his son.  
She contacted Dave instead.  
"Hey, Dave."  
"Hello, queen of the night." Dave answered; she heard the sound of waves in the background.  
"Are you at the beach?" she asked and yawned.  
"Yes, just got to a private fucking piece of heaven, too bad I'm surrounded by nerdy dude, rather than foxy babes."  
"Like me, maybe?"  
"No."  
"How inappropriate to say such offending comments to your friend."  
"Aren't you my sister, too? It's like fucking I dunno, Siblings Quarrel."  
"We're only siblings in a sense that my single mother was inseminated by your "Bro" father to have twins to give one of each to our respective guardians."  
"Yeah, too bad they were lazy ass in telling us for 13 fucking years." Dave said "And also too bad why you're here growing eye-sacks instead of having a good night sleep for tomorrow's visit to Weirdo Island."  
"Is this why I'm not a foxy babe."  
"You know it, any other time…"  
"Yeah, I get it."  
"I guess I'm ready to sleep." She added "Too bad I can't tell John about the hypnosis?"  
"Wait what?" Dave was dumbfounded, a voice with a lisp sounded angry in the background.  
"Yeah, I guess you could tell him." She said and yawned. As she thought of a fitting formulation, her brain dozed off into files and patterns and eventually a sleep-like trance.  
"You okay, wise bird?" Dave surprised her, she "woke up" with a start.  
"Yeah, I just dozed off." She said and rubbed her eyes, trying not to mess up her microphone. "It's weird, I feel now with the knowledge of retrospect that I was about to fall asleep, leaving you hanging for an answer. But it seems something was keeping… me… from…"  
Rose paused, Dave was even more dumbfounded, he didn't have time for this. "No!" Rose exclaimed, "NO! Dammit! How could I… Fuck!"  
"Uncharacteristcly for you." Dave said.  
"Hold on, Dave. For a few hours. I need to test something." Rose said, with frustration in her voice.  
"What could possibly take two hours to test?"  
"Hypnosis!"

 

Waking up in the morning, she didn't knew how her mother did it, but she knew that she succeeded, and knowing John, he fell prey as well too.  
She had a sleepless night, and as her water-plane landed for a stop in the west coast, she knew she was going to have a sleepless 12 hour flight. Her only hint was mom's suggestion that she should cuddle with Vodka Mutiny in case she had "trouble sleeping", she knew what hypnosis was dawning on her, but she couldn't realize how it was done, her mother never had an hypnotic voice, she checked.  
The only voice convincing enough to hypnotize her was her own inner voice… which was going through everything her mother did… while she was making sure not to be hypnotized… in a sleepless night.  
Rose bashed her head lightly against the window next to her seat, it only made her headache worse.  
The passengers from the west coast got up and filled the empty seats in the small plane, including the seat next to her, which remained empty throughout the length of the country.  
In the seat sat a young boy her age, also looking tired and frustrated.  
She didn't pay any mind to the boy and didn't even recognize him. Until he spoke.  
"Had a rough night, stranger?" he spoke in a mock detective accent and giggled, but there was no doubt in his identity.  
"John?" she asked and looked at him, he indeed matched the face of John, which she only saw a few times, never really paying mind to his appearance.  
"Rose!" he exclaimed, not as frustrated as her.  
"Why are you on this flight?" she asked, John was supposed to take a proper flight to Alternia's National Airport, instead of this amateurish water-air vehicle. She was also supposed to get on such flight, and meet him in the airport there.  
"I couldn't tell time and missed my flight, had to trade a ticket."  
"Yeah, so did I." she commented.  
"Is it cuz you couldn't sleep?"  
"Exactly."  
"Y'know, call me crazy. But I think our parents did it to us, for some reason."  
"I know as fact they did." Rose said and squinted her eyes.  
"They hypnotized us, making us incapable of falling asleep except under specific conditions."  
"How do you know that?"  
"Because I'm a failure."  
"No you're not. I fell to their trolling too."  
"You weren't trying to avoid it."  
"I guess it's just different POVs" he joked.  
"So anyway, what condition did they have, or it is up to us to find out?" he asked.  
"No, I know what it is, without mom even telling me, she probably fantasized about a sweet scene in which I found out with somebody special and close to me." Rose motioned 'bluh' with her tongue and face.  
"So…" John felt awkward. "What condition is it?"  
"Cuddling & Snuggling." She answered.  
"Like hugging and spooning and such?"  
"Yeah. It's criminal what it is."  
John spent some time thinking about it. He eventually started blushing and tried saying something, but closed his mouth. He took courage and spoke.  
"I'm really tired." John said.  
"I know, that's the point." Rose scowled.  
"Well, no… that's not the point." John said "The point is cuddling and having physical connection to sleep, not sleeplessness all the time."  
"I guess we did need at least some of it." Said Rose, looking down. "We didn't recognized each other's faces, after all."  
"Yeah, and like I said…" he blushed deeper. "I'm really tired."  
He didn't need to speak anymore, Rose's head immediately slumped onto his shoulder. She was blushing too, now. He wrapped his arms around her and they shifted awkwardly until reaching a comfortable position, which took long agonizing minutes.  
But it worked, within a few more minutes they both their eyes heavy and a sleeping spell was falling on them, this time for real.  
They both fell asleep for the duration of the flight to their new home.


	3. Prologue III: Plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The return of a little JohnDave (Line 39). More JohnDave next chapter, which won't be a prologue for once.  
> Also: next time some Humanstuck boys.  
> Get excited.

The two teenagers were lost in sleep and had to be forced awake by a flight intendant when Alternia appeared beyond the horizon. John rubbed his eyes awake recalled events from before he fell asleep. He noticed a foreign but comfortable touch on his abdomen and shoulder and he saw Rose's head and arms wrapped around him sloppily.  
This is awkward, he thought as he gently brushed her off and seated her straight.  
Over the next few minutes she started budging and moving around uncomfortably, as opposed to the serene immobility she had previously. She opened her eyes and looked around. Her face contorted with embarrassment when she saw John next, looking at her quite creepily.  
"Good morning." Rose said and stretched, having some problem completing the act with the plane's window and John at her sides.  
She yawned and then opened her mouth to speak. "So tell me the details."  
"What?" John was dumbfounded, he too just woke up.  
"The details of the awakening." She answered "You want to know how this hypnotism works right?"  
"Yeah, I guess that's related." He scratched his head and buzzed off for a little bit as he watched the distant dot that was Alternia from the window.  
"So? What it is?" she asked after pulling a pen and paper while John was dozing off.  
"Give me some questions."  
"Alright" she said and didn't stop for a moment to think "You witnessed my awakening, what did you see?"  
"You waking up." He answered "sort of unpleasantly."  
"Yes, I do recall it being a little… unwilling… not really unpleasant, though." she commented "As if the thing putting me on a sleep spell was gone. I guess that thing was the snuggling, which was beyond satisfactory, by the way…"  
"Thanks, that'll help my established masculinity."  
"More importantly…" she ignored his qualms "It means the cuddling isn't just to fall asleep but also maintaining sleep." She looked kind of upset for a moment "It means I have to find somebody to stay through the night rather than just hug me for a few minutes." She felt embarrassed saying "hug" and "cuddle" like that. It didn't fit her style.  
"Now, about your awakening." She continued, and didn't let John say anything, he would find that annoying 4 years ago, but he was used to it now.  
"You woke before me." She said "That's strange. From what I recall you aren't a morning person."  
"I'm so not."  
"And I'm an early bird." Rose said "So how did you wake up before me?"  
"Flight attendant woke me."  
"Well, that explains me."  
"Yeah, and I kind of feel over-rested."  
"Me too." Rose said. "And now it explains nothing."  
"Maybe just leave it a mystery?"  
"No way." Rose said and thought about for a few seconds. She was aimlessly petting her thigh, as if there was a cat there or something.  
"I have a theory." John said. "Maybe we both over-rested cuz of the hypnosis."  
"This is exactly the kind of observation I expected from you."  
"Hey! …thank you? What?"  
"It does help me, though. I guess this has something to with the process of the waking itself. Meaning that maybe a lack of snuggling is the only way to wake up."  
"That's a bummer."  
"Yes, but it shouldn't be a problem if our snuggling partner isn't each other, since they'll wake up naturally, and then wake us up."  
John's mind drifted to what he sort of agreed shall be his snuggling buddy. Dave didn't exactly say yes to that, and he himself was probably asking that out of hypnotic trance or someshit. He was really tired. Still he couldn't avoid imagining how it would be to cuddle with Dave.  
Rose was soft and thin and they only held each other's arms and head, but Dave would probably cuddle up to him with his whole body and be all close. And his body won't be soft, Dave isn't exactly a muscle beast but he does practice combat with his Bro-father daily, he would be quite muscly. John will the soft one buried within Dave's body wrapping, he didn't like that idea, especially considering Dave joked about being the big spoon yesterday. Maybe he can make Dave promise to be an equal snuggler. If he can even bring the topic up.  
Oh man it's going to awkward, John thought. Especially considering it's not just them two who'll be there. He's going to a Boys' Academy and he's going to meet lots of new people and some of them will be his roommates. He can probably get to be Dave's roommate since Dave can arrange those things if he wants (John hoped his best friend at least wanted to be in the same room as him), but there'll still be another boy with them. John hoped it wasn't Karkat. Karkat hated him.  
But if he could go through all time he'll be fine until the morning, when both of them might have morning wo-  
"God dammit!" John exclaimed and surprised Rose who was watching out the window.  
"Yeah, I know… it's quite an unexpected weather for a tropical island this season." Rose said and pointed out. John looked out as well from behind her shoulder and saw a grey mass of cloud floating the Alternia spot in the distance.  
"Yes…" John said "Exactly."  
A small jingle echoed throughout the small plane. "This is your captain speaking, due to unexpected weather the water landing is going to be impossible, and will be delayed by at least an hour."  
"Damm…" John mouthed quietly.  
"Good actually… I still have things to do on the plane."  
"You want to discuss the hypnotism."  
"Not really, I wanna nap." She said and laid her head on John's shoulder again.  
"Rose no." John said with a normal voice, his tone annoyed and his volume rather quiet.  
"It's okay, just don't cuddle me back so you can stay awake."  
"Rose no!"


	4. You're not welcomed, not quite.

Rose got off the plane when it landed on the water 20 meters away from a clean friendly shore at the south of the islands. A guard boat sporting an Alternian and British flags came to pick her up along with the majority of the tourists on board. Most people visiting Alternia came for the beautiful beaches and the beautiful people of the southern end rather than the rich culture of the northern regions where the capital stood or the intriguing harsh environment of the center, where even Alternian were told not to venture.  
John wished Rose good luck and said his goodbye with a short hug and watched as her boat sailed away. His own school was closer to the capital on the northern island, another 20 minutes of flight.  
The plane trailed a bit on the water and then rose up. As it reached maximum height the northern part of the island got into view. It's strange mountains and large waterfalls leading to the great lake of the north, on the shore of which the royal palace stood. A marvelous building John could clearly see from the height he was in. Most of it served as a sort of castle town, private houses, streets and some modern glass buildings surrounded by old walls. The castle itself was rather small for most castles worldwide by still was quite big, sporting many Alternian flags, a red rectangle with white trident poking from the left.  
South to the northern castle and cities around it were the vast uninhabited wasteland of the island, full of strange terrain with sharp turns and strange foreign plants (actually, they were local, the "common" plants and animals were brought to the island by people). John much preferred to live in the soft modern labyrinth of the northern city, especially considering his sleep hinder.  
When his plane landed, there was no boat to pick up him and the few more adventurous travelers so they had to walk through the water up to their knees until reaching a much harsher rocky shore where a border patrol station was built, decorated by a British and Alternian flags like the boat from the south and many other things in the island.  
After an awkward duck walk through the water holding the luggage that didn't have room of the little floating carrier up above his head, John made it to the stony unpleasant beach just to be immediately two unfriendly guards who shoved him and the group of travelers into the metal gate, the land beyond was quite beautiful.  
John was shoved into one of three posts. The guard in it was a young Alternian man, having the tanned greyish skin tone typical to them. His hair was messy and he was wearing a red sweater above his dark grey uniform. "Paper please, sir." He said with a monotonous voice "That is, it would obviously be very problematic if you happened to reject the term sir due to a misunderstanding regarding your gender." He continued while John looked around his bags. "And I hope you do not find offence or a triggering notion is my binary use the gender of people regarding the fluidity of such sensitive subjects. But you must understand this job and both our roles in its partaking are based of the linearity and the conformity to sub-considerate statistics made to accommodate a language of international communication and official order by pretending such 'gender'-notions exist and in fact pretending that notions of inter-national or even interpersonal societies exists in a non-utilitarian…"  
"Sir will be fine." John said, trying to smile. That rambling was quite annoying.  
"Very good… sir…" the rambling guard still had doubts.  
Luckily, by looking away to watch the view he convinced the attendant to stop speaking while he checks the papers.  
"I see you were granted temporary residence as well as two school years in the Alternian Boys' Academy, of course as we discussed previously term such as Boy-"  
"You people have very lovely beaches!" John shouted.  
"Anyway, you passport is fine and so are the proper initiation papers." The guard, whose name was Kankri Vantas, John noticed (something about the name was familiar) then pointed to something in the pile, a pink letter with a Pieces symbol printed on it.  
"It's your royal recommendation." Kankri said. "It's not in proper form, nor is it signed… though that could simply mean to the arcade ambigious nature of the formal…"  
"What do you mean?" John said. "It's the real thing." He continued. "Well it's not the queen cuz I didn't have time to wait, but I got the heir to recommend me! I know her personally, sort of…" he looked at the pink letter which was torn open from the envelope John wasn't allowed to open.  
"I'm not the H—EIR! Silly! Ask my sister!" was what was written in fuchsia ink on the card inside.  
"I can confirmed this is the princess' handwriting. But I don't have the authority to decide that, and even if I did, the princess didn't allow you to live in her kingdom."  
"But I… who's her sister?"  
"That would be the former Princess Meenah. She's not really available to write recommendations…" Kankri put up a harsh expression he was bottling inside.  
"Why not?"  
"This is clearly a violation of my personal oral space of communication though a lack of information upon your side may confuse my hypothetical talk of Meenah as political slander and day to day news my affiliation of interpersonal relationship with her make it inappropriate for me to talk about her yet due to said lack of knowledge what you said is no crime and at the same time doesn't make it any correct and does not…"  
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" a sharp screaming voice pierced the early afternoon light as a figure walked unto the gate from the other side. It was a young boy about John's age, sweating and wheezing. He wore a black shirt with a grey Cancer symbol, and his black messy hair was somewhat similar to that of Kankri.  
"Oh… young distant relative (if you accept the accompanying connection to me along with our shared name which you've accepted), have you come for a series of conversation?" Kankri asked.  
The boy leaned on his thighs and panted for a few more seconds before answering.  
"Fuck no!" he said loudly, but not close to screaming.  
"I came to pick up this fool." He pointed, his other hand still leaning in on his thigh. John noticed the boy's body as the sweat made his shirt stick, he was skinny as fuck, but somehow still had some muscles, especially around his chest, which jumped up and down in a mesmerizing motion. John shook his head and returned to the moment.  
"I'm afraid I can't let this 'fool' (such a triggering term made to offend both his intelligence and the respectful profession of medieval court fools) into the kingdom unless he gets a royal recommendation or a visitation pass."  
"I know that, FUCKFOOL(the term is made to offend him and the medieval profession sucks and also I'll never call you my relative)!" the boy said "I have his papers right here."  
He reached around a little awkwardly around the fence and handed an identical fuschia envelope to the one John had, except it was more freshly sealed.  
John took the envelope, his hand brushing against the fingers of Kankri's relative, he was surprised to feel the slight sweat on them, and the lack of retaliation as the touch was made.  
John handed the envelope to Kankri who opened it and confirmed its validity.  
Before he could go to a long speech, the boy shouted at him to open the gate and quickly swiped John's arm once it did.

 

"So you're Karkat, right?" John asked.  
"Yeah, right Egbert…" Karkat said and continued to walk forward with John's arm in his hand, trying to get as far away from the post as possible. "Like you didn't hear my voice all the times we spoke."  
"We never spoke, you never dared talking to me in person after that chat incident when you said you ha-"  
"It never happened!"  
"Yes it did. And I rejected you back then, cuz I was straight." John said "Well I can tell you now my sexuality is more fluid than that. Though I still wouldn't date you."  
"This is the most annoying thing about you Americans and all outsiders in particular, it's always about the labels and how you wear them and how proudly you throw them away like who gives a CRAP?!" Karkat let go of John's arm as he started feeling uncomfortable.  
"I have moved on from that NON-EXISTANT… IDEA OF ME… you had three years ago!" Karkat looked around at street post for direction. John always thought his troll-friends would know how to get anywhere around the island because it's so small, and seeing how big it really is from above didn't help change that notion from his simple mind.  
The place around wasn't really a town but more of a tourist trap, most stores were usual cultural knick-knacks of no real value or real reflection of Alternian culture. But some were smart to realize the common tourist who'd get through that god-forsaken gate was more into "real" Alternia and they sold trekking equipment or real souvenirs of things that were also sold to the locals.  
"Where are we going?" John asked once the Alternian boy led him through an empty road to a bus station.  
"The bus sta-" "I know that!" interrupted John.  
"Where is our bus headed?"  
"The Academy."  
"To settle my stuff before we hit the town."  
"I knew you would expect such nonsense and bullshit on your first day." Karkat said "You think that's you're so special in your grace over every step you have on this fucking goddamned island but you're wrong!"  
"So no-?"  
"No hitting of any beautiful Alternian town!" Karkat scolded as they both sat down.  
"It's okay, Dave will arrange something."  
"Not if I object enough to not come."  
"No you have to come!" John said, only half sarcastically. Despite the distant airs Karkat was putting, John saw him as a close friend.  
"I'm not going for a stupid American initiation."  
"It's okay, me and Dave will just be bros without you. I mean… it would totally suck without you and all the other troll guys maybe… but it's not like he and I can't do it without you." John tried hinting at Karkat, trying to convince him to come with them to "town hitting", but Karkat remained silent, though maybe from a different reason than John had thought.  
Only once the bus arrived and the two sat down (John was glad Karkat chose to sit next to him despite having other option) did the Alternian grumpy boy speak.  
"About you hinder…" Karkat spoke all of a sudden "And before you act befuddled and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about cuz I'm talking about your sleep bedtouch requirement."  
"Ugh… bedtouch gives a wrong connotation in American, Karkat…"  
"I don't care." Karkat remained as serene as he could "I know you planned Dave to help you with that but he can't. Not with you or anybody else."  
"That's straight forward enough." John said "Why not? Is it contagious?"  
"Nobody else but me that is." Karkat said and shot a sharp look in John's eyes.


	5. Overwelcomed

Rose stared at her strange Alternian drink for few minutes without even being close to attempting to sip it. The drink was a strange mix of grapes and a few local fruits with some alcohol. Considering this was an island and each species was separated from its mainland cousins by tens of millions of years, the thought of what "local" fruit may do to an untrained body terrified Rose. But the stupid promise that she would try out the local cocktails for both her mother and her cousin Roxy wasn't something she planned on skipping, even when she was mad at mom, Roxy didn't do anything that would let for such dry tongues.  
She didn't know exactly how she could describe the taste when she did taste it, because the isolation of this ecosystem predates the human taste buds by millions of year. But she was going to try it anyway. Later, that is, she's not going to have a bowel convulsion at the public beach in front of beautiful islanders and tourists from all over the world to tell their grandchildren. She sealed her drink with the handy cork she got with the strange tall plastic mug and took off from the tourist trap booth. The drink itself was 900,000 Boondollars which was about 9 USD but still very expensive for a drink. At least they weren't going cheap on the contents of the sealed mug which was heavy to carry.  
Rose wondered if Jade was really going to pick her up from the beach, like she hinted before she took off, on that cursed sleepless night. Rose was quite lost in sense of time. She got off the ground at noon after a sleepless time, the flight took 12 hours and now it was late morning on Alternia, though the surprise summer storm still lingered in the form of clouds blocking some sunshine making time be a measure the island resorts to while it's convenient to move the lives on the people on it. If there was one thing positive about her sleeping hinder it was that her sleeping schedule will be based on her jetlag free cuddle partner rather than her own confused brain.

 

Rose walked on the warm sand, her shoes being buried halfway each step, and she stopped to look down for a few seconds every time she noticed a sea-shell she never seen in her life. After about twenty new discoveries and stopped walking and sat down to watch three intriguing animal skulls tiny white skulls of a lizard, a turtle, and a crocodile, smaller than she ever seen, the back of their skull each looked like a key to a dent.  
Rose wondered if she could take them, they were pretty rare and she didn't see them more around the beach. She decided to take them and build a wall with the appropriate dents in her room in the Academy, if she could find the damn place.  
Rose was worried she won't recognize Jade like she didn't John, and continued to turn back to old pictures Jade sent them of her island (which begs the question if she ever put foot on a continent before), some of which had her face.  
Rose continued to observe and play with her new skeletal consorts when a touch of her shoulder shook her off the ground and made her lose balance. She rolled down twice on the shore's sandy slope towards the water.  
She heard a giggle behind her and looked back after rising from the sand, she saw standing above her is a girl her age, clearly Alternian, and the most distinctive feature about her was "feline", either the smell, or her look or her movement, Rose got the idea of cats when she saw her. It's good, she thought, I like cats.  
The girl held three suitcases next to her, it took a while for Rose to realize it was her own luggage she left nearby on the concrete above the beach.  
"You're going to get sand in the wheels." Rose said and stood up, cleaning the sand off her person.  
"That's no way to greet a friend." Said the girl, smiling a feline smile "We had such great talks about Jaspers and how soft fur is amazing. You still didn't go into depth about that genesis fur story."  
"Nepeta." Rose said, not in a happy tone or a disappointed one, but more as an observation. She did have a welcoming smile, however, which made Nepeta smile gorgeously in return.  
"Obviously." Nepeta said and smiled. She didn't say anything else, expecting Rose to ask her a question. Rose decided to oblige.  
"How did you know how I look like?"  
"From the mural."  
"Oh, alright."  
"You don't have anything else to ask?"  
"Yeah, how have you been?"  
"I'm fine, thanks. I was excited for arrival." Nepeta pouted when Rose ruined her fun.  
"I am excited to see your island and you, the same."  
"I already knew that."  
"Yet the basic emotions of human beings make my confirmation appealing to you despite the lack of any doubt that my excitement wasn't the case."  
"You say it so complicated but I still get the picture."  
"I never has doubt you would."  
"I know you know I'm smart."  
"Yet the basic emotions of-"  
"Ok it's time to go!" Nepeta interrupted and dragged Rose's luggage all into one spot to her right and folded in the handles.  
"Yes I already assumed you were my 'ride' into the academy, if you will pardon me calling you a method of transportation."  
"Yes," said Nepeta very simply.  
"I thought Jade would be the one to pick me up."  
"Jade is my roommate, you know. And I'm in charge of getting you through Stage 1 to the academy."  
"No. I refuse." Rose said "Take no offence, but I do not intend to participate in such juvenile 'ritual' of initiation. You'll take me to the academy and I'll thank you and find a room and maybe later we'll hang out like civilized persons in the academy or perhaps go outside."  
"Oh alright."  
"I don't buy it, Nepeta." Rose shot quickly "You answered too quick. You have a plan." Nepeta had a light brownish hair and her greyish skin had an olive colored undertone. She wore a grey worn out shirt that might have been black once; the peeling remains of a green Leo sign were visible. She had nice perky tits and her body was more petite and voluptuous for her age. She wore a brand new khaki coat open at the center but covering her arms.  
"You're right. I already bought a bus ticket for the Stage 1 scene."  
"Let me have it." Rose said and then felt bad about her immediate unpleasant demeanor. "Please. And I'm sorry but I'm too disoriented and distressed for games right now." She excused "As well as it's not being my style."  
"It's okay, I'm just happy to have you here with us." Nepeta handed her an open paw with the flimsy slightly moist paper of the tickets in it, next to the crumbled tickets were some little balls of fur and felt, as well as a half wasted crayon.  
Rose took the ticket and looked at it. "You can have it back." Rose gently pushed the tickets back in Nepeta's pocket, whose hand was too busy holding Rose's luggage.  
"Take the crayon." Nepeta held her palm open stretched.  
"Thanks?" As soon as the crayon was off her hand, Nepeta left two half-steps forward and wrapped her now empty hand around Rose's mid-back. Her feet were touching Rose's and quickly her other arm was touching her first around the blonde. Rose's luggage fell behind her.  
"Sorry about that, I'll pick it up." The Alternian said with an uplifting innocent smile, her eyes closed.  
"Welcome to Alternia." She finished and tightened her hug.  
"Thank you." Rose said a little gasping as Nepeta's chest was pressing to hers on her left lung.  
"Actually you may not want to hug me; you see… there's some "problem" with my proper behavior regarding hugs." She started getting away from Nepeta's hold  
"Snuggles make you sleep." She tightened the hold and expertly pulled Rose back to perfect position, she was incredibly strong, considering her side, significantly stronger than Shut-in Rose.  
"Of course you know." Rose said, short of breath and losing concentration when Nepeta's breast lightly touched her lower shoulders (the elevation gave Nepeta the ability to do so despite being considerably shorter). "Your insidious plan won't work, miss Leijon, I will never find such forceful enforcing of ideology like this "bear hug" as proper cuddling."  
"How about now?" Nepeta shifted her weight forward and lessened the grope considerably, letting Rose hold her in order not to fall. She could just use the opportunity to let Nepeta fall and leg it, because despite her loosened body, her arms were still steel tight around Rose's back. Though now they broke apart as Nepeta's palms flattened one arm rose up to between Rose's shoulder blades while the other descended to her lower back, giving soft massage as she did so.  
Rose was holding her forceful cuddle partner's weight in a slight crouch and was feeling pleasant positioning of the arms behind her.  
In no time the blonde girl's head sank down to the soft inviting dent between Nepeta's neck and her left shoulder. Her chin slumped over the edge of Nepeta's shoulder; she supported her own weight as well as positioned her arms comfortably around Nepeta's back, in a similar position as Nepeta's back around her own, but not as expertly.  
Her logic failing, her sense not threatening to tell her to come back and fight, Rose was put under the spell and fell asleep.


	6. A Boyish Arrival

Karkat looked like he had a very hard time giving John the silent treatment all along their bus ride to the Alternian Academy for Boys. He was a very chatty man and was sure to give example to this quality when he and John were unloading John's luggage off the old fashioned bus.  
"What with all this crap?" Karkat asked vocally, drawing the looks of many of the bus above them. John didn't see to take offense and took the last suitcase, giving Karkat the silence treatment instead. But somebody else answered for him.  
"That's the American Way, you idol-worshipping islander." John smiled at the sound of a deeper voice of a blonde teen. "Dave!" He voiced and rushed to the source of the voice, living Karkat behind with two of three suitcases. John grunted from the weight each step, doing all of those steps blinded by the body of the suitcase blocking his eyesight. He got tired of it after ten steps when there was Dave on his path. He lowered the case and looked forward, catching Dave red-handed as he back-steps from the bumbling Egbert.  
"Dave!" he said again, with a harsher tone, but not too harsh. He got the flow of the Strider, he knew.  
"Come join me in conquest, fellow fucking American. We shall name this piece of crap land after Emperor Obama and the two small ashtrays of islands next to it after his royal brats!"  
"I will tear down this building…" John started, looking for a clever continuation.  
"And we shall construct fucking twenty feet golden statues of ourselves to busk in our humility." Dave continued and marched forward with his arms open, half the way John started running forward.  
"Welcome to your new home!" Dave said and wrapped his arms around the surprised Egbert.  
"New vestige for Washington DC's paradise!" John exclaimed as he closed his eyes and tapped Dave's back. Dave's tapped back, much stronger, but not too much, just enough to leave a palm shaped mark. John grunted in pain.  
"A steppingstone in the march of consumerism." Dave motioned his arms and held more softly, changing an intentionally painful ("challenging") embrace ("bro-hug") into a more proper and comfortable cuddle.  
John buried his head in the chest of his taller friend, feeling the muscles below to be more to his liking than he feared on the plane. He felt the hypnotic chant in his mind doing his charm as he motioned himself deeper into a cuddle and a spell of sleep dawning on him.  
"So this is what it's about for you?" Karkat said and grunted from anger and physical effort as he put down two more suitcases, trying to put them on John's toes, but missing (maybe out of reluctance).  
John was snapped out of his sleep inducing hypnosis, he raised his head off of Dave's chest. Both the boys were not happy to have their bro-hug interrupted, but Karkat seemed pleased as the two gave attention to his upcoming rant.  
"Your fucking stupid expression of bewilderment tells it all, as if I rained some new kind of fucking lifestyle on your asses! You two didn't even consider anything but a life of buying pointless crap and observing us like a fucking tourist trap, like you actually believe an entire island will base its desires and fucking culture to be your amusement." Karkat took a big breath of air. "You two joked about tearing us up to be some ashtrays for America."  
"No, you're already ashtrays; we just want to name you after American presidential children." John corrected.  
"Don't interrupt me! I'm not playing with your stupid half-sincere logic; I am trying to prove you wrong!" Karkat stared at the two eyeing each in a unique way. He proceeded talking while making sure the two Americans, still in other's arms, were quiet.  
"I'm sure you have wet fucking dreams of each American gizmo you'll teach us island yokels to use like we're your imbecilic students but I can bloody assure you the opposite will be the sweet lingering result, the truth of life. This island will crush you under the queen's actually royal gross pink toenails. You will breathe Alternia, smell Alternia feel Alternia and with my honor as a future threshcutioner on the line, by the time you return home for your red-green jolly snowfest I swear you'll think and feel Alternia in every fiber of your inferior beings!" Karkat took an enormous breath and started panting, still angry energy beaming off his face.  
John pondered if to tell him to relax and that it is just a joke and maybe he should calm the fuck of his grey shorts. But Dave spoke before him with a witty remark.  
"I don't think so dude. It's absurd to think a continent should be ruled by an island."  
"Yeah." John added "It's Common Sense."  
"There's. Nothing. Common! About! THAT! SENSE!!!!!!" Karkat exploded that John was sure he was heard in the Academy's dorms a bit of distance away from there.  
"That's the name of the document the quote was taken from, silly Karkat." John corrected.  
"Plus, I'm pretty sure you guys used to be part of UK anyway." Dave added. "That's the island in the original document, by the way."

 

"Just fuck off!" Karkat gave up. "Just carry those luggage of "American Way" downhill and let's get Egbert in the fucking room!"  
"Dibs lightest." Dave said and snapped John's smallest suitcase.  
"What are you, five?" John asked as Dave broke off the hug and walked off into the distant dorms buildings.  
"Hey dude, Karkat doesn't know American." Dave shouted.  
"The fuck I don't."  
"Oh I get it." John said. "Dibs not heaviest!" he shouted. "Karkat, you carry the heavy suitcase."  
"No, I am not. I will not bow down to retarded American rules." Karkat tried to seem serene, but inside he was about to blow with anger.  
"C'mon, Karkat. Bow down to some American standard of human competition that is the amazing invention of dibs." Dave implored. "Getting so may bring our nations closer and may increase your right into a private session with the ambassador."  
"Wait…" said Karkat after a few seconds, his hand subconsciously reaching for John's last and heaviest suitcase as the other two guys were walking away. "Do you mean what you think I mean?"  
"Large improvement of the social structure built between our nations."  
"You deplorable fuck!" Karkat exclaimed and grabbed the suitcase, running forward. "Wait for me, you idiot!"

 

The word that came to John's mind as he finally saw where he was going to live in for the next two years was "Nature". The dorms stood about a km away from the actual academy, they were built as small shacks, built from wood John never saw in his life. The shacks were by a group of wooden beams into the height of two meters, each had two sets of concrete stairs leading to two different metal doors, one to each room in the shack, which shared a wall. The road between the shacks from left and right was slanted and loopy, a curving trail of paved round stones of kinds and colors not found in other places round the world. All around the dorm and academy was the nature of the Island's hostile uninhabited center. The establishment was founded in the northern part of said wild, just on the edge of the mysterious terrain. It was a heavily forested area, entirely of alien-looking absurdly tall cerulean trees with pink leaves, all buildings built under their mighty shade.  
Karkat and Dave said they'll be setting his stuff in the room, making sure his style won't clash with their crazy bachelor lifestyle or something. John brushed it off as the ever present weirdness that encompasses each and every teen's life. He went for a walk to check out some of his neighbors. There were about 80 shacks with 160 rooms and 480 boys at the academy. But the one shack that caught his interest was the big one. Less a shack and more a mansion, the shack was nearly twice the height of all others, and made out of stone rather than creepy alien tree, and it had one door rather two, implying it was more than one dorm room, though John suspected the house had more than one room.  
John climbed up the nice set of carpeted stone stairs, with a fancy wooden railing, he looked at the expensive wooden door, polished and decorated with golden linings.  
The name Eridan Ampora was printed on a slightly less fancy wooden sign hanging from the top of the wooden door, which was taller than all other doors at the dorms, which were short enough that even Dave had to duck down to fit in them.  
John pulled out a piece of paper he printed before the flight. On the paper in red ink were the names Dave gave of "Troll dudes it's cool to hang with", meaning their very own Alternian internet trolls friends. As he remembered, the name Eridan the tool Ampora was indeed in there. According to the list the Eridan Ampora was "a friend" who should know him, though John didn't remember being trolled by Eridan, he knew all trolls knew of them, even if they kept a silent treatment.  
Hesitantly, he knocked four times. He heard rustling noises from inside but no voice answered, and no footsteps were heard close to the door. He knocked another time. Nothing, the tool was ignoring him. He tried knocking three more times, strongly this time, when he finally heard voices, two of them, arguing.  
"There's someone at the fucking door!" he was surprised by a wavy familiar accent.  
"Funny, I thought I was already here." Answered an equally familiar lisp.  
"How hilarious, I don't like the joke you're insinuating."  
"Shut up, you know I'm the only idiot who comes see you in this luxurious ghost house. I'm going to let myself in."  
"Just answer the damn door like a decent human being!"  
The door opened, and the guy behind it was quite shorter than John and even shorter than Karkat. His shirt was black, with a cute picture of a chibi bumblebee on it. His dark brown hair was trimmed as a zig-zag on the front, and he wore stupid looking shades, one blue and one red.  
"Eridan, right?" John looked down to face the boy at the door. He was punched in the forearm.  
"Oww… what the hell? Is that an Alternian greeting?"  
"I find being called that as an insult." The boy said, his lisp clearly audible in the word 'insult'. "I also find that racist remark as an insult. You better have a good reason to be here… foreigner."  
"Yeah, sorry, I guess."  
"Don't guess, actually be sorry for your ignorance, dimwit. It's basic fucking human honesty."  
"I sincerely apologize."  
"Who are you?"  
"I'm John Egbert, me and my friends were trolled by Eridan three years ago. And by you too, I think."  
"Fuck no, not me too. And know I rarely say that. I will never get down to that level like Karkat."  
"So you know Karkat, good!"  
"I would hit you again if I wasn't tired from the first one."  
"Yeah, that one was pretty weak." John said and immediately received another punch, this time in the stomach.  
"Come in, John Egbert." The boy entered a decorated hallway with two doors at the side, and an intersection at the end. John followed him with a hurt tummy.  
"Who is this?" asked another boy who sat in a large violet bean chair. He wore comfortable yet fancy looking clothes and had thick black glasses on his face. His hair rose upwards in various angles and was entirely black instead of one bunch of hairs at the front which was colored in a brighter variety of violet. On the bean bag he sat on was a dent next to him, where the zig-zag guy probably sat before he got up for the door.  
"It's Kk's American friend."  
"I see." The violet boy said with a ting of hostility in his voice. "You're a friend of the witch right? Is she in Alternia now, too?"  
"You mean Rose? Yeah she is. My name is John by the way. And she and I are kind of in a similar-"  
"I didn't ask for your name, American John, nor did I fucking ask about the similarity between you and the Rose American."  
"That's a weird way of putting it." John pondered whether he could sit down on one of the other bean bags spread around the room, the hostile boy nodded at him and he took that as a 'yes'.  
"It's an asshole way of putting it." Said the zig-zag guy and sat next to the other Alternian by throwing himself down on it. It made the violet bean bag shudder a little due to the red-blue guy's small weight. He wrapped his arm around the glasses boy, who showed his teeth and didn't seem to like it.  
"So, you're Eridan? And I presume you're… Sollux, right?"  
"Yes. Fucking genius of you." Sollux said and started cradling Eridan in his arm. Eridan mumbled something unpleasant and shoved in response.  
"This is a very nice room you got."  
"Of course, I'm a motherglubbing Ampora, don't you know anything about the land you walk your dirty little shoes on?" Eridan seemed more comfortable in Sollux's arm now, and he went back to growling at the unwelcomed John.  
"He's here because he's a fucking royalty." Sollux said.  
"Awesome! I knew there were some royals among you trolls, but it's still pretty cool to meet one in person."  
"That's right." Said Eridan, and who seemed to warm up a little "It is pretty cool to have a royalty such as me invite you in. Isn't it right, Sol?"  
"I'm here cuz he can't resist my charm." Sollux sounded smug and his lisp was especially noticeable in the word 'resist'.  
"So…" said John, feeling awkward and embarrassed. "You two are a couple?"  
"Not any kind of couple you heard in your simplistic country." Antagonized Eridan.  
"So, John." Said Sollux, feeling embarrassed from having his and Eridan's relationship mentioned. "What kind of similarity do you and Rose have?" he changed the subject.  
"Well, both of us have been cursed sort of." John said and two other boys perked their ears in attention and their eyes squinted with disbelief.  
"We were hypnotized to only fall asleep while hugging and cuddling and snuggling."  
"That's stupid and idiotic and it's not gonna work." Was all Sollux had to say.  
"I know it sucks, but it's gonna be fine, Dave promised to help me, and he's a cool bro."  
"That will probably serve you problem." Eridan said. "Cuz Kar is already matesprits with the Dave American."  
"What does Matesprits mean?" Asked John, fearing he already knows what the answer was.  
"Boyfriends." Sollux said and John noticed the arm still wrapped around his royal 'friend'.


	7. The Arena

Alternian buses were nice, new and well kept, with soft cushions. Even along a bumpy ride through a hostile island cliffy road, Rose wouldn't wake up with Nepeta's tight strong grip around her waist her own arms around Nepeta's paradoxically slender figure. She woke up only once a particularly large rock slid the bus onto a particularly wet road and Rose's particularly sleepy into a particularly solid window.  
She noticed where she was; out the window was a foreign and hostile looking environment. Lifeless brown cliffs rising from one another and plunging down into a wide ocean, creating complex and tall mazes of cliffs and rocks. The sky was more cloudy and dark then it was on the beach and the sounds the bus made indicated everything was still wet from the surprise storm earlier that day.  
Next Rose noticed the girl sitting next to her. Nepeta's body was edging on the left of her seat towards Rose and her shoulder leaned on the blonde's shoulder. One arm was wrapped behind Rose's neck and crawling on her opposite shoulder and the other cradling and petting her stomach, below her shirt. Nepeta was yet unaware she was awake, and Rose took the opportunity to surprise her with a sudden shove. It was harder than she thought since Nepeta had unexpected strength in her upper body and though surprised, her fingers still held on to Rose Skull-Squiddle shirt by the end of it.  
"You're awake." Nepeta said and yawned, she rubbed her eye and moved her hand like a cat's paw which Rose found adorable. But she was still angry, and repressed the urge to hug Nepeta and fall asleep again.  
"Awake, and on my way off this bus." Rose stood up and looked to see what station they were heading.  
"We're almost there." Nepeta swore.  
"Is there your destination of childish games, or the actual academy I'm heading to?" Rose tried making an angry face, but Nepeta's sorry face expressed regret and apology.  
"Look!" Nepeta said excitingly. She was pointing towards a distant cliff. Rose refused to look for a second but Nepeta's sweet smile broke that refusal quickly. It was hard seeing it at first since it was quite distant and the sky was grey and dark, but Rose eventually noticed the strange towering building on the roof of one of the cliffs. It had towers and gates and looked like a Transylvanian castle.  
"Is that the academy?" Rose asked.  
"Yes, I know. It's so spooky. There're a lot of hiding place if you want to sneak a boy in." Nepeta said, making the surprised blonde next to her, blush.  
"But the bus can't go there, so we'll need to walk up there." Nepeta said "It's kind of steep, but it's a good test of your abilities." She continued. "Like rock climbing, and instincts."  
"I doubt that is what we learn at the academy." Rose said and got up as the bus slowed down at a station, the water creaking under its wheels.

 

Only once she started unpacking her suitcases off the luggage compartment Rose realized her mistake. She looked up and saw that the only other passengers beside them were girls about their age, some with suitcases of their own.  
"This bus does go for the academy, isn't it?" She said and hurried to the bus's front door, but by the time she made it Nepeta has already pulled out her other three suitcases with superhuman speed, and the bus drove away, not noticing the cheated blonde yelling for it to halt.  
"Dammit." Rose said, she got tired of being angry at Nepeta, realizing she had no choice but to play her and Jade's (probably) childish game; it's not something to be avoided. It'd be like being angry at the sun because it had to set. She gave one more glace to the castle, it was it clear view, still far away but its splendid darks sky bridges and pointy fractal towers loomed ominous at the dying daylight going between the spiderlike tendrils of stone.  
"I gave up." She told Nepeta who held all her bags up high except the small one she was holding in her hand.  
"That's bad!" Nepeta said "You're not supposed to give up on something else, you're supposed to have enthusiasm for this thing!"  
"But that's an impossibility for now. I will play along, but I will not enjoy this silly ritual of initiation. I will however, refrain from doing anything lewd."  
"100d, you remind me of someone close to me."  
"Good, that's a sign we two can get close." Rose said "Closer, I mean." She corrected herself, trying to not offend Nepeta.  
"Closer, yes." Nepeta took no offense.  
"Where are going?" Rose asked after a few minutes of walking through same and wide open view. The castle academy still loomed high and everything around looked the same as Rose tried not slipping on the hard and wet ground, and not to step in any puddles. She was actually quite anxious of falling off the edge despite that fear being irrational, she was away from the edge of the cliff she was on right now. Nepeta only answered her once they entered between the pillars of two high cliffs into the narrow path between them. The path sloped down in small harsh drops and Rose was again very anxious not to fall.  
"The only tree." Nepeta eventually gave a vague and unhelpful answer. The only thing Rose managed to deduce from such an answer is that the tree was probably literally the only tree, considering the absolute lack of plants around the Cliffside.  
"Well," Nepeta continued as the two slid down a relatively dry 'slide', Rose screaming with surprise and anxiety while Nepeta shrieked with fun "An only tree."  
Rose was greeted to a flat surface surrounded by cliff walls from all sides except an entrance they just went through and an exit on the other side 40 meters away from the. On the left wall there was bed of soft flat ground in which a shapely puddle formed out of orange dust tainted water. Out of the puddle were two heavy roots poking through the surface and more barely seen through the water. The source of said roots was the so called 'Only Tree', an impressive plant reaching to a humble height of eight meters with a heavy and sprawling trunk inviting with steady and low branches to climb on.

 

On the tree sat Jade Harley in her childish grace, fitting for Nepeta but without the exotic skin and the weird getup (As Rose thought that, Nepeta pulled out a blue cat hat and put it on). Her round glasses fit her face and the blue moon on her white simple t-shirt. On a branch which she sat on was her sweater, golden yellow wool neatly folded. Next to the sweater was a strange occurrence, a walkie-talkie. Rose guessed it was part of her dumb initiation.  
Rose dropped her bad carefully on a dry piece of land and walked forward without saying word. Without saying a word also, Jade dropped down from her branch and walked towards her friend. They stood facing one another, a pace apart, under the tree, until Rose opened her arms, knowing the risks and took half a step forward to hug her friend.  
Jade was a good hugger, tight hold with soft arms pressing on her back in comfortable positions, and her own stance allowed Rose easy access to do the same to Jade. Unlike Nepeta, she wasn't trying to cradle Rose and control her. But the effect was the same, Rose first lost feeling in her legs which became sleepy before the rest of her, and she sat down subconsciously on a heavy root poking out of the ground. Jade giggled and sat down next to her.  
Realizing what she gotten herself into, Rose tried to break the hug fast before falling into a cuddle induced sleep. She tried breaking her hug the traditional way, by simply withdrawing her arms back, but to no avail, she lost the ability to properly will over her limbs. She felt like she could perhaps pull her whole body back and escape her grasp, but Jade tightened her hug, not letting her friend escape. Rose wasn't sure if it was of manipulating intents like Nepeta. But then again, she initiated the hug, and though her mind is sharp, her movements were dull and it very possible Jade didn't even notice her attempts of hug breaking.  
Her head was becoming heavy, and she was trying badly to keep it up and look forward, her blurry eyesight changed focused from the tree to Jade's face who had a happy smile smeared all over her face. Jade then lowered her head and lied on Rose's shoulder. That was the last straw and Rose lost all control, her own head snuggling into the crevice of Jade's neck and shoulder. She felt own body lean over to Jade to get stability from the shaky narrow root. Jade was ready to catch Rose, and she did her best to make her feel comfortable, there was adjusting of arms, Jade leaned back on the trunk of the tree, and her legs might have crossed with Rose's free hanging limp legs, there was probably some petting.  
But the one thing Rose remembered clearly is Jade's first words to her in person. She raised her head and whispered into Rose's ear.  
"How did I do? Was I pleasant?"

 

When Rose came to, she was sitting leaning against the tree trunk. On the opposite side of the puddle of water. In front of her was the looming cliff wall, her luggage were leaned on in and her hand was interwoven with another soft girlish hand. She saw Jade sitting her in a similar position, back leaned against the trunk and two legs straightened forward in a V-shape.  
"Good seeing you, Jade." Rose said, keeping her hand in Jade's hand.  
"Long time no see." Jade answered, her voice was much sweeter and campy when she wasn't whispering, she sounded three years younger at the least.  
"Never seen, actually." Rose corrected.   
"Yeah but in my dream…" Jade said and was interrupted when she saw a Nepeta crawl over like a cat and sit with interwoven legs in front of them.  
"What dream?" she asked with a feline grin. Reminiscing of a sideway 3.  
"When she was 13 she dreamt that she, I, John and Dave were all born in a lab in space and were transported to Earth through time portals on board meteors." Rose said. "No wait, it wasn't space. Or it was, but it wasn't our space, but a space laboratory is a solar system outside of time, on board a meteor. And in which each of us is put on a different meteor and hurled into the past to land in the 90s, of all decades."  
"That sounds incredipawl!" Nepeta said "It could also maybe happen with us, but only with 12 people."  
"And it's just a dream." Jade said "But a very vivid and truthy dream, like all of them."  
"Speaking of dreams." Nepeta said. "What did you dream about?" she looked at Rose, who unhooked her hand from Jade with blushing face.  
"That depends, how long was I out, on both forced hibernations?"  
"Hour and a half on the bus here, and half an hour under this tree." Nepeta answered and looked sure of herself. Jade, on the other hand, looked more confused than ever.  
"What do you mean, forced?" Jade asked. Her face was expressing distress and paranoia. "Nepeta didn't force you on the beach, didn't she? Wait, did I force you to sleep?"  
"Well…" Rose found herself in an awkward and befuddled situation. She wasn't sure of what was going on anymore. This was a very weird initiation ritual.  
"Nepeta, explain!" Jade comically banged her fists lightly on Nepeta's arms. Though Nepeta probably could withstand Jade's strongest punches anyway, but Jade wouldn't survive Nepeta's counterattack.  
"She wouldn't go, she wanted to go straight to her room." Nepeta excused. Rose avoided looking at her adorable guilty face and looked up in sky. The piece of sky seen through the crevice of cliffs they were sitting in didn't have the sun in it, but the sky was not quite night dark. The sun was somewhere above the horizon. Much more peculiar than the time of day, Rose noticed something hanging from the tree. On the highest branch above her was tied a rope. To the rope was attached a little chibi dragon plushy, by its neck. The dragon was cerulean blue and in addition to being hanged, it also had one of its arms torn, and a button eye was missing.  
"So you just forced hibernation on her?!" Jade's distressed and guilty plea snapped Rose back to the current situation.  
"Yeah, that counts as my turn?" Nepeta's eyeballs looked up as if calculating something in the air above her.  
"Your turn to perform what?" Rose asked.  
"Wait, does she even know?" Jade asked, exchanging her looked back and forth from Rose to Nepeta.  
"Information coming to me earlier would be lovely."  
"She doesn't know?!" Jade looked up to sky in nervous frustration, her hands palming both her cheeks.  
"No, I don't know. Tell me." Rose said harshly and stood up, she didn't have balance and stumbled on the tree in the middle.  
"Rose, do you know why you're here?" Jade asked, still sitting. Her puppy eyes looking up at her were unbearably cute.  
"No." Rose said more softly.  
"We brought you here because this is a great cuddling arena."  
"Of course. Exploiting my-"  
"No!" Jade interrupted her voice got even more high pitched than usual; she got up and didn't stumble.  
"Then why?"  
"We'd knew you'll have problem sleeping with no cuddling buddy." Nepeta said and rose, the three stood and exchanged looks at a triangle.  
"So we prepared this meeting where you could get a taste of each of us, and choose who do you want to be cuddling with." Jade completed her Alternian friend's sentence.  
"I see. I just figured I would ask random people every night." Rose took some time to come to terms with the revelation.  
"No!" Jade exclaimed again, this time Rose thought it was a little annoying. "You'll end up half the night storming the castle room to room searching for half-strangers who will have unpleasant nights with you!"  
"Very well, that's a reasonable offer." Rose said and smiled, she blushed with happiness and embarrassment for her friends' consideration. "A monogamous platonic partner to help me with my hinder, to which our schedules could match."  
"She doesn't have to be a platonic partner." Nepeta said, and if she knew about the American gesture of raising your eyebrows, Rose knew she would.  
"So you're my choices, as my roommates?" Rose asked.  
"No." said Jade.  
"And no." added Nepeta.  
"Two of them?" Rose smiled with decor, but inside, she was again uncertain.  
"We're not your only choices." Nepeta said.  
"And we're also not in your room with you." Jade completed. "We're in our own room. Your roommates are two other girls."  
"Are they trolls? no offense, Nepeta." Rose asked. Nepeta nodded.  
"Yeah, and they're very unlikely to be your snuggle friend." Jade said and a chill ran down her spine. She felt bad about that, it was inconsiderate.  
"Do they happen to be our male friends' malicious troll friends?" Rose brought up her usual suspects.  
"None other." Jade said.  
Rose contemplated on how life would be living in a room with those two very hostile women. She pushed the thought aside and focused on the present.  
"That's your first 'no' explained." She twiddled with her fingers. "What about the second rejection of my previous proposition, about the exclusivity of you two as my cuddle friend?"  
"In other words, what are my other options?"  
"See this?" Jade picked up something from the ground. It was the walkie-talkie from earlier. Rose now noticed it was decorated with various mismatched colors. High octane pinks mixed with dark reds and drawings of fish as well a real shellfish glued on the back made the device into a ugly mess, if it wasn't for what seemed like solid gold letters on the side, saying "Royal Room".  
"There are two girls in here, you probably know them. They're really nice, and they were supposed to call through this when they were coming. But it's silent." Both and Jade and Nepeta looked disappointed. Rose was a bit disturbed that they found the sleep experiments on her as entertaining.  
"And that it?" Rose asked, but she knew it wasn't it, or at least she hoped it wasn't. There was one girl she hoped would come for the unusual tryouts.  
"Of course not. There's still the last member of the Green Room." Jade announced like a professional.  
"The green room?" she asked and her hopes were high. The silence of her rising hopes were broken by the sound of steps. Sharp, clear steps, on high heels.  
"Am I late for the strange yet intriguing hibernation assistant tryouts?" asked a well versed formal voice from the exit to the 'Snuggling Arena'.  
"Kanaya?" Rose's head could not turn around faster, and her cheeks were heavily blushed.


End file.
